I am sitting here feeling the weight of at least MY world on my shoulders. Where is my christmas spirit? Where is my joy? What have I done for anyone but myself this month? How have I been a christ-like person? How have I remembered the real reason we celebrate christmas? I keep focusing on the wrong things, finding the perfect gift for the person that is impossible to please, thinking about all the STUFF that goes along with christmas, and not on the people and the important things. No wonder I can't get into the christmas spirit. If you want to feel christmas, then give it away. What have I given? Tonight was the downfall for me of all that christmas is not, I hurt the three most important people to me, my kids. They saw their mom totally lose it. All I have to do is look into their precious faces and know what is really important. I want to be better for them, because they deserve it. They deserve to feel the christmas spirit and to know what christmas is really all about, and they deserve to see it from their mom. I know I am not perfect, but I know that I am better than what I was tonight. I told them each I was sorry and I could see their love and forgiveness for me. This is part of what christmas is all about, forgiving those who have hurt us, loving someone even though they have disappointed you. I have 8 days to change how this month has gone for me, I don't know exactly how I am going to do it, but I can't let this Christmas go by without truly feeling the spirit of it. Merry christmas to all, I pray that each of you have found the spirit of the christmas that I am looking for!!
2 comments:
It's true what they say, the best way to feel good about yourself is to do things for others. I too, haven't have felt the most of the Christmas spirit. I don't know if you heard or saw on the news, but a family of 7 from Orem lost their home a couple of days ago from a fire. They have no insurance therefor they took a TOTAL loss. The worst part about it is, they just buried their 9 year old little girl in October who died from the swine flu.
I was devastated when I heard this. It made all my problems seem so trivial.
I was telling my sisters that it would be wonderful to help this family is some way. Even if its sending them a $5 check.
So, if you want to do something with me I think it would be awesome. Why not make someone else's Christmas a little easier, right? My favorite memories of Christmas is when my family served someone else in some small way.
So let me know if this is something that you would want to do.
Love you and hope you DO have a wonderful Christmas!
Meg,
I am sorry you are feeling that way. I was talking to Camie when we were at Jamies the other night and we were both saying how we just felt blue. It's a hard time of year to stay perky when things are hard.
I will never forget the Christmas my parents got in a huge fight Christmas eve. My dad stormed off to the store and my mom went about her way preparing for the party that was ahead. When my dad returned from the store he was really mellow. Him and my mom talked in their room for a while and then called us kids in. He told us about his trip to the store and this man that was outside the store holding a sign saying his family lost everything and anything would help. My dad said he wasn't a typical "sign holder" type and you could tell his situation had truly humbled him to this point. He had $100 bill and a $20. He gave the man the $20 and went on his way. As he was driving home he felt a strong impression to go back, he pulled over to the side of the road twice to think about it. Finally he went back and gave him the $100. The man could barely say thank you and fell to the sidewalk crying. He told my dad they had a really terrible year and this means more then he could know. As my dad told us this story (crying like my dad does) he reminded us how there are SO many people out there who need us and we can’t be caught up in our busy Christmas schedules to realize a opportunity to give. Thinking about that day reminds me how of that Christmas spirit!
Like Jamie was saying about that family, I too think it's a great idea to get some money together and give to them! Let me know when your doing it?
Hope you feel the spirit of Christmas a little more in your week.
Love ya Meg!
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