its a love/hate thing....

I hate:

waking up early in the morning

unloading the dishwasher

putting my kids to bed

dreary, rainy days

feeling sad

fighting with my husband

being cold

worrying about money

talking about weight

I love:

reading a really good book

sleeping in late

waking up to sunshine

having a clean house

when my kids get along

watching the jazz games with kaleb

being with my friends

having a good reason to laugh

playing bunko

dancing my heart out!

A look at life....

Do you ever stop suddenly for no reason and start thinking about your life? I had such a moment the other day. Just thinking that I was 30 years old, and did I think that this was what my life was going to be like? Hahahahaha, NO!!! But, all is well, though it is different from what I once pictured, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have said before that I am one who doesn't like change. I resist it with all my being. But, change comes whether you welcome it or not. Friends change, kids change, financial situations change, families change, church changes, work changes, homes change, yes, everything changes. People who you thought would be your BFFFFF suddenly drop out of your life, and a person comes along who you would never think would end up being the person you could be so close too. You get used to life one way and suddenly it is another. There are days when my heart feels sad for the things in life that have changed and I have lost, and other days my heart is full of joy for the things I have gained. I think my hardest reality is there are only a few people I feel close enough to to share those sadness and joys with, and on my hardest days, I feel there is no one. But that is this crazy thing we call life and I love it and curse it and embrace it and deny it day in and day out. I always thought when I was 30 I would have life and love and everything all figured out........guess I need to live a few more years before I even come close to that happening!!

Ronnie B., you will be missed!

A utah jazz great was traded this week from the team. I loved to watch Ronnie B. play. He was one of my faves, his slam dunks were the best! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING???????? Goodbye Ronnie B!! you will be missed!

HELP!!!

I AM HAVING A REALLY BAD HAIR DAY!!

Celines 13th Birthday

Ok, I think I am ready to talk about celines birthday!! How hard it is to see her grow up. But it really is fun too. For her party I told her I would provide lots of food but that it was up to her for the "entertainment.". She invited a bunch of friends, boys and girls, and they played rock band and sang karaoke, played dance, dance revolution and played mafia. It is so funny to listen to boys and girls interact at this age, I SO remember being her age. The boys love to make the girls laugh and the girls love to laugh at the boys. Me and kaleb were getting a kick out of them. I really love celines group of friends, they are all such good kids. I keep hoping when she's 16 the boys will still be around for her to date...but.....thats a long time away and I don't really want to think of that now. So her party was a huge success, which makes me happy. Her actual birthday was on sunday, so she got a new outfit to wear to church( doesnt she just look beautiful?) and then we opened her presents after church and had dinner at my moms house. I am glad its over and a whole year til her next one. 14 is going to kill me!!

Kayla, celine and Dustin

The birthday girl!
Presents!!
Bri, Kayla, Emry, Jessica, Celine, Isaac, Kaden, Tyler and Dustin!!
Lookin like a teen!
Celine got a jewelry armoire for her bday to put ALL her jewelry in. The girls got a ton!!

Time is a theif...

Its a little after midnight on February 14th, its official. Celine is now 13. She had a great party tonight with her friends, which I will post about another day. But right now, I am letting my heart do its mourning, cursing time that is stealing my daughter away from me, little by little. Every day that passes is a reminder to me that my time with her in our home is coming to an end. In 5 years she will be 18 and spreading her wings and leaving the nest. Do you know how fast 5 years goes by? Its a blink. And I am sad. Time is going to rob me of having her with me every day, of knowing the ins and outs of her every day life. I never thought it would be hard to let your child grow up, but I am telling you, it hurts. I always just thought it would be a natural part of life, but it doesnt feel natural at all. How, as a mother, do I let go when she has been mine for 18 years? I know it has to happen, I know it is a part of life, but will it ever stop hurting? I know I am premature in all this, hey, I have five more years! Its fine!! But, like I said, time is a theif, and its reminding me that life flies by, and before I know it, she will be leaving.

Happy Birthday Celine. I dont think it was a coincidence that you were born a week late to be born on valentines day, because you are my sweet girl. I am so proud of the Young woman you are becoming, the choices you are making in your life. I am so blessed to be your mom, to see every day the wonderful person you are. Let me just be sad for tonight, and tomorrow will be a celebration of the wonderful part of my life that you are. We are blessed to have you in our family. How does 13 years go by so fast? Why do I feel like only yesterday I was holding you in my arms in the hospital, so in awe of this little person I was now responcible for? Celine, you are beautiful inside and out and I thank Heavenly Father for you every day!

Happy 13th Birthday sweetheart! I love you more than I can say.

MOM

The man I love....

A few weeks ago I had a dream, and in it, Kaleb had decided that he did not want to be with me anymore. He left me. I was devastated. I have this dream frequently in many different forms, and every time, I wake up, and for just a moment, I think it is real. I feel like someone has torn out my heart. I feel like my life is ending. Sometimes I wake up crying, and then Kaleb will move or breath or in some way do something and I realize that he is still there. The relief I feel every time is overwhelming. I want to grab him and hug him and slap him at the same time!! I love this man. All I want is to be able to wake up next to him every day for the rest of my life. If he is there in the morning, I know everything will be okay.

Happy Valentines Day hon!

How do I love thee?? Let me count the ways.....

Me two.

I feel better. I took a sleeping pill last night so I could sleep. I woke up when Kaleb left to work. I cleaned up my closet. I cleaned up the bathroom. I picked up the family room. I did two loads of laundry. I unloaded the dishwasher. I loaded the dishwasher. I cleaned off the kitchen table. I cleaned off the kitchen countertops. I cleaned up my scrapbook desk ( but now its messy again.) I got ready. I got aliah ready. I went to work. I worked. I came home. I folded laundry. I put away cd's and dvd's. I did aliahs and tages valentines. I sang karaoke. I am ready for bunko tonight!!!!! I feel better.

Me

I am tired. I have dirty dishes in my sink. I have loads of laundry still to do. I need to mop my floor...again. I need to clean the bathrooms...again. I need to clean my scrapbooking desk. I need to scrapbook. I need to prepare my young womans lesson. I need to wrap celines birthday presents. I need to clean the basement for her party. I should go to bed right now. I have to get up early and go to work. I need to vacuum my floors. I need to unload the dishwasher. I need to pick up the floors. I need to buy a birthday present for aliah to go to a party. I need to help tage finish up scouting to get his wolf badge. I need to practice my dances. I need to go running. I need to finish the kids valentines for school. I need to wipe off my countertops. The jazz lost to the lakers tonight. I need a break. I want to sleep for a day. I am tired.

Wendover

I am a little past due for this post, but better late than never!! At the end of january we got to get away for the night with my sister camille and her hubby randy. They got a coupon in the mail for 2 free rooms and 2 free buffets at wendover, they invited us to come and we said WE ARE THERE!! We love to hang out with camille and randy, and wish that we could do it more!! We had a great time! We left at 4 on friday afternoon and drove strait to wendover. We checked into the Montego Bay Hotel and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was a very nice hotel!! After dropping our bags off we headed strait to the buffet, a seafood buffet with all you can eat king crab legs!! Kaleb and randy were in seafood heaven! Kaleb said it was worth the drive just for the buffet. We had lots of laughter at dinner (As in randy pushing my face into my cheesecake!:0) It was nice to get to hang out without any kids. Then we soaked in the hot tub and then went up to our room to rent a movie off the TV. We watched 2012 which me and camille liked and randy and kaleb didn't. Worth seeing once, at least. We fell asleep at 1 and woke up around 1030, checked out and headed back to salt lake for some lunch, then to orem to see another movie, Avatar. This one was MUCH better and we all enjoyed it! It was a great little getaway and I am glad we got to go with my sis and her hubby!!

Kaleb CAN be very romantic....

My friend Camie posted a romantic moment that her hubby did for her on her blog and then challenged everyone else to do the same on their blog. Last february I posted my favorite memory of something romantic that kaleb did for me. You can check it our HERE. But here is another little tidbit....

It was 3 or 4 years ago while we were living in our condo while Kaleb was building our home. It was our anniversary. Kaleb had already left to work and I left to go take the kids to school. When I got home there was a dozen roses waiting for me and some presents. He got me a new dress( picked out by my little sis) and a new outfit( also picked out by my little sis.) and then he gave me a letter, and it in he had calculated how many days, hours and minutes we had been married for. Now tell me that isn't romantic. SEE, Kaleb DOES have his moments.....:0)

It was a good night...no, a GREAT night!!

Lets just say that this night was one of my favorite nights ever. I don't think people really quite realize what a HUGE jazz fan I am. But I am. Huge, I mean. I mean, A Huge Fan of the Jazz!!!!!:0)

It was our last jazz game from the tickets kaleb got us from christmas. We decided that we were going to get there early to try and get autographs from the players. We got there at a quarter to 5, but they didn't even open the doors til 530. So we went to Fanzz to buy a basketball just in case we got lucky enough to get an autograph. At 530 we get through the doors and head strait to the seats by the hall where the jazz players come out onto the floor. There was a lot of people there, but we were determined. Some of the players were already on the floor shooting, then Memet Okur comes out, and Kaleb holds out our basketball and he takes it and signs it!! SCORE!!! I was so happy, I was beaming! But we kept waiting, and we got Jerry Sloans, Ronnie Brewer, Wes Matthews, Kosta Kufas, Kyrylo Fesenko, and Thurl Baileys autographs on our basketball! It was my dream come true, except for one person. Two of the bodyguards were being so helpful in helping us get autographs, I just sat there smiling, so thrilled! The bodyguard told us Deron Williams had already come out and gone back in so we werent going to see him. My one dissapoinment, but thats ok. But a few minutes later, the bodyguard handed tage a water bottle with Derons autograph on it!!! He told us that earlier he had been joking around with Kyle Korver and signed the water bottle and gave it to him. So the bodyguards were holding onto it and decided to give it to Tage!!! The only thing better would be if we could had gotten the signature strait from D-will, but I am not complaining!!!! Then one of the bodyguards waved us over and said we could hurry and get our families picture taken on the floor! Could it get any better than this? No. It really was the best of nights ever!

We go up to our seats and of course the Jazz are playing awesome. But, our exciting night wasn't over yet. Kaleb knows a guy who helps with the Jazz Bears stunts, and he told kaleb where to bring the kids to meet the jazz bear. So at the end of the 3rd quarter, kaleb took the kids and they got to go meet the jazz bear and get a picture!!! And that sneaky kaleb, he got a picture with some of the Jazz Dancers, he was in big trouble for that one!!!

The Jazz won, which makes this night even better, and then we went down to the lower bowl and got on TV while they interviewed Andre Kirilenko! I was on TV!!!!

Only one thing can ever beat this night, and that is when me and kaleb get to sit on the floor!!!!

Sundiata Gains
Memet Okur
Thats Jerry Sloan holding our Basketball!!!!!!
Wes Matthews
The water bottle that D-will signed. This will be going under glass at our house!! ;0)
Way beyond a happy moment for me!!
On the floor!!!!!!!
sporting tats in support of the jazz and d-will #8!!!
even the kids are fans!!
Jazz Bear!!!
Luke McEvoy, this is for you!! Kaleb said they remembered him and asked where you were!! Do you feel special?? I wasn't too happy about this picture....;0)
This is going in our Jazz Room!!!!

Really, does it get better than this??

Thanks! You just made my day!

Today I took celine to get her hair cut, and as she was getting her hair trimmed the lady looked at me and said "is this your.....(pause here for a second) daughter?" Yeah, she is. Then she replied, "For a second there I was going to ask if you were sisters!" Then she turns to celine and said " I really was. I'm not just saying that either, I really thought you two were sisters!" I wanted to give that lady a HUGE KISS, and tell her, thanks lady!! You just made my whole day!!!