Change...

I have that feeling of change in the air...I have been feeling it for a while now, though doing my best to ignore it ( you all know i don't like change.) I am changing, my kids are changing, our lives are changing, people around me are changing....and I can't stop any of it. Been home alone for a few hours today...celine is still in california and tage and aliah are playing with friends. I still can't get used to being home alone. I am lonely. Can't think of anyone I can call, everyone I know is still busy with little kids at home. Wish I could go back, definitely not ready to go forward. Wondering why things have to change, why when they are good they just can't keep going on that way forever. The future could be good, but I just don't KNOW!! People growing and changing and heading separate ways, it makes me sad. I still feel the same as I did 13 years ago, even being married and having kids hasn't changed me all that much. Why do we have to change? I can feel it coming, and I don't like it...