Left behind...

So, it seems that the longer I am a mother, the more hidden truths I discover, and it seems that none of them are easy, which is why maybe no mom ever talks about them. Celine got home from EFY today. I picked her up this morning and as we were driving home, her and her friend were talking and talking about events, people, inside jokes, and experiences of their week. And I had this thought, I don't know any of these people, I don't know any of the places celine went too, I wasn't there for any of the activities or experiences or moments. She can tell me about them, but I will never really be apart of them. She met all of these new people, who I will probably never meet, I will never know. And they don't know me. They don't know celines mom, and how cool I am ;), and how much I love celine. And then it occurred to me that this is what is in store for me in just a few years. Celine will be going off to college, or working, or marrying, or whatever, and she will meet new people, people I may never know or meet, and she will have a whole life without me. Sure, she will tell me all about it, but I won't really be apart of it. I will be left behind while she grows up and creates her own life. And yes, I know its normal and necessary and important and all that stuff, and she will always be my daughter and I will always be her mom, but I don't like it. I don't like to think of her not living under our roof and me knowing every minute of the day where she is and what she is doing.  Maybe I am not a normal mom, I don't know. But, the thought hit me hard this morning, and made me sad. I know I don't need to be sad, but when the day comes, I also know I will be.