Every six months or so I will decide that I need a new pair of jeans. Its something I have to prepare myself for and talk myself up and set aside a whole day for. Lets just say that jean shopping does not come easy for me. Yes, I am a curvy girl, or in other words, I have a big butt. I'm just getting it out there.Yes, I admit it, no, I don't want you to agree with me. :) but there it is. Jean shopping is my most hated shopping. Shoe shopping, any day!! Shoes always fit. Shirts, jewelry, no problem. But jeans, oh the agony! I start out with a good attitude. I wear shoes I can slip in and out of easily, I have a plan of what stores I want to go to. So, there I go. Try on my first 10 pairs. Nope, not one of them fits. What I hate, is that every size in every style and store and brand are different. Oh look, I went down a size in this pair! Holy Crap, I need to go up two sizes in this pair! Oh He*#, this pair won't even go on over my butt!!! See, I have this small waist and this big butt and that equals big gaping in the back!!! I hate it!! I kid you not when I say that sometimes I will try on 100 pairs of jeans in one day and find not a one. Oh how I envy all my friends that all they do is pick one pair, try it on and FABULOUS! The worst part is how I start feeling after trying on jean and after jean and nothing fits my shape. I can't be that different than lots of other woman in the world, can I? but I do, I start to feel kinda like a freak. I start to feel ugly and fat and horrible. And I hate feeling that way. SInce January when I started crossfit I have worked so hard to be in better shape and be healthier, but my body is what it is and doesn't much want to change. So I may be stronger and fitter, but that doesn't equal skinnier. And most of the time I am ok with that, and I am proud of my body and what it can do. but jean shopping takes all that away. And I walk around feeling like everyone is looking at the "fat girl". Isnt' that horrible? It really is.
So, a couple of weeks ago I decided it was that time again, I needed a new pair of jeans. So today, I did it. And something happened that had never happened before, it wasn't a horrific, awful experience!!! I went to one store ( Maurices, they have great jeans I have discovered!) I picked out 10 pairs of jeans to try on and it was a miracle. Most of them fit. Maybe I didn't like the cut, or style, or color, but they actually fit. I found a pair I really liked and within a half hour my jean shopping was done. Miracle. Now, I don't want to lead you astray and have you think that I went down a size or lost a bunch of weight and thats why they fit. Nope, its just still same old me. I don't care about sizes anymore (ok, at least I TRY not to care). I just want something that fits and looks good (semi good??) So, today was a good jean shopping day and I didn't end it hating myself. I call that progress. :)
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