Gone...

I still can't believe summer is over. Gone. Where did it go? It was all just a blur to me now that I think of it. But I know that I enjoyed it. Now school is back in session and I have a 10th grader, a 6th grader and a 3rd grader. Which means this is the last year any of my kids will go to school together. How many times a day do I wonder where the time went and how they grew up so fast? My house is very quiet now. It is nice, but I know eventually I will miss the chaos of a house full of kids. But I also know I will enjoy my time every day while the kids are gone. I feel like my life if full of contradictions now. I think about it getting colder and winter coming and I get anxious. I am not ready, but I am never ready for that. I have decided my biggest challenge I need to overcome is that as soon as my kids are gone every day, I feel worthless. And I start stressing and worrying over what to do with my life, because I feel that my purpose is gone. That is going to change. That is a darker force at work trying to make me feel less that what I am. I am a mother, I will always be a mother. I am a wife. I am a friend, a daughter, a sister and there is a lot I have to offer to this world that is not a paying job. I am doing what I am suppose to be doing, and I am going to try to stop questioning whether it is enough. I am enough.