I can....

I admit this about myself: there is not too many things that I have done that I am super proud of. One of my weaknesses is that if I don't want to do something, I either don't do it, or I have a really, really hard time making myself do it. I have done better as I have gotten older, but I still struggle.  Some people love to push the limits, to try the impossible, to test out every theory. Yeah, not me. I like to be comfortable. I like to know where I stand in all aspects of life. Birthing 3 children I am super proud of, I am a wuss when it comes to pain and that was a big deal for me. But I birthed my three angels like a champ (well, at least I think I did, kaleb might disagree. haha.) I barely graduated from high school because I disliked school so much, so I just didn't go. I have only really had 2 real jobs (besides being a mom) in my whole life. I am proud that I try to be a good mom, a good wife, a good sister, a good friend, a good person. But really, beyond that, when have I ever really pushed myself? I was proud when I did weight watchers and I lost 15 pounds. That really pushed me past my comfort zone. I have danced for the last 5 years, but thats easy because I love it and it doesn't even seem hard. But suddenly at the end of 2011 I found myself feeling the need for something more, something for myself that would push me, that would be hard, that I might not even like but that would be good for me. My good friend Corey has been telling me for a while to come do Crossfit with her. Her sister Camie, my other good friend, and her husband started their own Crossfit gym at their house. My first initial thought was, no way. Thats too hard. I don't want to do it. I kept telling Corey I would think about it. Then I was venting my frustrations to kaleb, telling him I felt like I didn't know what direction my life should go, I felt lost and unfulfilled. He suggested that I start going to cross fit. I said, Ok, I'll try it. Even Kaleb was surprised that I took his advice and did it. So now I have been for 3 weeks, and I am doing it!!!!  I push myself every time to do a little bit more than I want or what I think I can do. I feel proud of myself. Not that I think this is going to change my life and fulfill me in every way, but I think it is a very, very good start. I like going with a group of woman, they all cheer me on when ever I am doing anything. Its been really good for me. I feel happy. I feel like I am doing something good for my body and for my mental health.  Now I feel like I can say " I can do hard things" and mean it. I want to be a person that CAN do those hard things, no matter what.