My empty nest

13 and a half years ago I became a mom. I wasn't prepared for this calling. It came at an unexpected time in my life. There were lots of challenges that came with being a new mom, lots of things I didn't know and that I needed to learn, and fast!! She was beautiful, bald and I absolutely didn't know what to do with her at first. But I learned. And I embraced. And I enjoyed. I became a mom. She became my constant companion, rarely was I anywhere without her by my side. My days were full of taking care of her, teaching her things and watching her learn. Then right when I was becoming pretty confidant at being a mother, we threw HIM into the mix. Now I had TWO! And I had to learn all over again. But it was an adventure, and my days were full of keeping them entertained, fed, changed, happy. I knew my purpose, to be their mother. Then we had another HER, and I knew any time for myself would be far and few, but thats ok. I loved being a mom. I didnt always LIKE it, but I always loved it. I knew there was nothing more important I could be doing with my life. We had fun, we had ups and downs and happys and sads. My days were full of them. But one by one, like little birds, they flew the nest. Off on their own adventures, having their own experiences. First one, then two and finally all three. And then there was just me. 13 and a half years being a mom and now I am suppose to spend most of my day without them. Isn't this is cruel twist of nature? To teach us to be moms and to focus our life on them and then to take them away and tell us to find something else to do? Well, I am trying. My house has never been cleaner. The laundry is always getting done. I am catching up on my scrapbooking. I can sit down in the middle of the day and read a book. I can go to a movie by myself if I want. But who REALLY wants to spend that much time by themselves?? I am so glad to have a job that I work two days a week, I am grateful for the times I get to see my friends. But I know there has to be more to my life than this now, I just haven't found what I am looking for yet. If I could tell anything to myself 13 years ago? Don't wish it away meg, enjoy it now, because when its over, its over. There is never going back.